BOYFRIEND

SEXUAL HARASSMENT AT WORK.

Your first job is exciting! The money brings you independence. But you still need to feel safe.
Harassment tends to start with uncomfortable comments about what you might be doing with your weekend, or what you are wearing.
The sexual harasser can be of any age. You cannot assume that you are safe because the person is married.
Harassment thrives in an environment of secrecy.
Suggested response: State firmy:"That's inapropriate!" and then choose at least one adult to confide in.

CHOOSING BOYFRIENDS.
He's HOT! Physical attraction will likely be important at first. But after that what would you look for?
Have you heard the saying that 'You can't love someone more than you love yourself?' When you decide what you like in yourself, it is easier to decide what you would like in a  potential boyfriend.
Do you plan to change your life views each time you have a different boyfriend? Respect for each other in a relationship is easier if you have similar belief systems. This does not mean that you have to have the same religion or cultural background. But a healthy relationship is more likely if you both put similar value on issues such a religion, politics, sexuality, drug and alcohol use, working (versus being unemployed), abortion, violence and war, saving versus spending money, divorce, extended family, city versus country living, swearing, capital panishment, etc...
So take the time to get to know yourself.
Suggested rule: Schedule in 'My Time'. Try Sunday afternoons  from 2-4 pm.

BOYFRIEND SHOPPING LIST.
There is no right or wrong answer... what matters is that you know what you believe.
What do you find attractive? Tall/short etc...
How much alcohol, cigrette or 'pot'/marijuana use is okay?  occasional use/ occasional binge/ none (and what would you do if you found out differently later?)
Do you prefer being with a good listener? Or someone who is  joke teller with a sense of humour?...
What do you prefer in the use of money? Do you prefer someone who enjoys their money, or someone who is a good saver?...
What about working? Is it OK if he is unemployed? Does he need to have 'direction' in his life? What balance do you prefer between career-minded and leisure-based?...
Most people are eager to please in the early stages of a relationship. So how do you judge 'niceness' in a potential boyfriend?...
Observe how he treats other people in his life. Does he describe his  ex-girlfrien as a 'bitch', or state calmly that 'she cheated on me".
Suggested question: Ask your potential boyfriend what his mother/sister/ex-girlfrien is like.

I BELIEVE IN YOU.

You are imperfect (like all of us) but still absolutely loveable!
Take your time to get to know yourself.
You will never please everyone. So some rejection is an unavoidable part of life.
You will never be perfect. Some failure is also unavoidable part of life.
Rejection and failure are a part of life for everyone.  For example, Madonna has said that she was unpopular in high school.
Seek advice from adults who do not judge you
Then reach for your star...
I believe in you... Go build your life!

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