THE ART OF MARRIAGE.

 We are seeking too much from marriage today. Life has become impersonal. Our circle of friends changes often, and there are few long-time friendships. The family has cut itself adrift from formerly close kinship bonds. Now, all the closeness and intimacy previously shared in these other ways among many people, is being focused on one person, and the whole load is placed on one pair of shoulders - the husband's or the wife's. It is only realistic to recognise the strain that this excessive closeness and extreme demand places upon both husband and wife. One cannot be expected to be mate, brother, father, friend and psychiatrist  all rolled up in one...

Conflict can be creative, and the love which is "patient and kind" is able to embrace tensions creatively in at least two ways:

First, it makes possible on openness and honesty about one's disappointments. Often a person feels that his faith forbids him to be honest or critical with his mate, but you owe it to your marriage partner to let her know how you feel. Such openess, within the setting of love and acceptance, can be the basis of a new beginning and partnership at a deeper level...

Second, this love that is at liberty to be realistic calls us to recognize that marriage is something that must be worked out. It is not like a coat that is put on, but like a flower that grows. As one elderly lady testified, "Love is what you go through together".  It is the recognition, therefore, that you have some needs which are not going to be met by the other person, and that there are some things upon which you will never totally agree. Realism demands patience and willingness to adjust.

The art of marriage, it has been said, is in maintaining equilibrium through the various changes and adjustments of life together ( G.R.Slater).